ATWT
« Previous EntriesMom called the Doctor, and the Doctor said, “No more homos jumpin’ on the bed!”
Thursday, April 10th, 2008Ohmigod, I don’t want to get ahead of myself or anything, but I think it may be time for Luke and Noah to finally do the deed. See, things were incredibly boring and ridiculous for a few weeks, so I didn’t want to recap them because they were so awful. Noah and Muslim girl are [...]
Bound feet are totally in this spring
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008Oh my god, Internet, so much has been happening. That’s not true. Nothing has happened. My feet are still scabby hooves. I figured that, since I had these painful lesions on my heels, I should go ahead and give myself a vicious pedicure while I was at it. Now I have horrid nubbins. I’m looking [...]
The time I showed my Barbies to a date
Friday, March 14th, 2008Three. I have three damn ATWTs waiting for me. I’m not sure I can take three in one night. Hopefully our gang has taken the week off. Oh, but no. There’s Noah studying on the porch. Remember, he’s just asked Muslim girl to be his wife-in-name-only. It looks like Luke and Noah are about to [...]
Remember when the Gay and the Muslim got married?
Monday, March 10th, 2008If you’ll remember, Muslim girl has been hauled into Homeland Security and is being made to sit in a waiting room. She does not appear to be shackled to the chair, but she is wearing very drapey clothes, so it is unclear. Luke and Noah and Lily and Holden come busting in to save the [...]
The night they brought ol’ ELB down
Thursday, March 6th, 2008Woah, so those two douchebags who were unloading groceries at the restaurant across town, now live together in a swingin’ bachelor pad we have not seen since the days when Baggy Austin Green moved into Steve’s ex-gf’s house. I believe he was roomies with both Dylan and Noah at different points in time. Remember when [...]
Faith learns a lesson about the gays
Monday, March 3rd, 2008Let me tell you something, this new United We Stand version of Lily and Holden is totally gonna cut the fuck up and knock the fuck down. They politely ask Muslim girl if they could speak with her for a moment. They’re at the hospital see, where they came after they were attacked by ruffians. [...]
I am stretched like a bowstring tonight
Thursday, February 28th, 2008The straight truth is, I don’t want to watch Luke and Noah and Muslim girl get harrassed today. I don’t want to watch something horrible happen. But what if it’s triumphant, and Luke and Noah become the Luke and Laura (SEE!) of the 21st century? Fuck! Fine. Go. Last time we saw the gang they [...]
Two gays and a Muslim investigate the Illinois penal system
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008Hey, guess what! Luke and Noah are in the kitchen! Muslim girl peeks in on them and hears them encouraging each other over the fact that if Noah helps this girl, his dad won’t hate him anymore. However that’s supposed to work out, I don’t know. Woah! Stop talking, Noah. Nobody is listening to you [...]
She’s wise, because she’s from the Mysterious East
Monday, February 25th, 2008Here we go with the Muslim girl. Turns out that, since Noah isn’t allowed a bed in the home he was invited to stay in, he and Muslim girl have to share the parlor. Ease up, now. No funny business. No, they stopped short of bundling and hung up a sheet. “It was all very [...]
Oakdale is totally the new Green Zone
Friday, February 22nd, 2008Woah, woah, woah, hold up there one minute! I miss ATWT once and now there’s a Muslim girl sliding her eyes at Noah. What has happened in Oakdale? Thank god Luke, the gay everyone can agree on, cut right in there and put a stop to this brazen hussy’s advances. I could have sworn her [...]
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